A Savage Debt (Beholden Duet Book 1) Read online

  “It sends a terrible message to the people,” the king growled.

  The queen took his hand in her own and pressed it against her cheek. The action calmed him immediately, and Ana couldn’t help but smile.

  “The wider kingdom doesn’t yet know what he asked for as his payment,” the queen said to Ana. “There are rumors circulating of the rewards he may be receiving—”

  “Things he should have fucking asked for,” the king thunderously interjected.

  “—but it seems at the moment, nothing is dominating.”

  “But, how can that be?” Ana looked between them. “There were commoners and nobles in the assembly hall. There was the crowd at the window yesterday. How can no one be speaking of it?”

  “The crown still has a lot of sway, Ana,” her mother said. “And so do the houses. At the moment, we’ve been able to keep it quiet, especially as we haven’t confirmed it, so among the commoners it is all just rumor and hearsay. With the palace allowing Maddoc to come and go, looking well fed and satisfied, it doesn’t hurt us right now, as many think we are treating him with respect. Even that trick he orchestrated with the crowd yesterday, no one is certain it was you. The ‘woman’ they saw had your unusual rose-copper hair, yes, but she wasn’t wearing a gown typical of your style. Besides which, it is too outrageous for the commoners to believe that something of that magnitude could truly happen.”

  Ana’s eyebrows were so high she was in danger of straining a muscle in her forehead, and the relief pounding through her made her breath unsteady. “So no one knows yet?” Since this morning, she finally took a full and deep breath.

  “Well, the houses know, since they were all in attendance and part of the discussions,” her mother replied, evenly. “And the upper nobles.”

  “Oh.” So all the important people. Her flood of relief was choked to a trickle. “Are you still going to kill him?”

  The king didn’t hesitate to answer. “It will look like an accident.”

  Ana took a breath unsure how she felt about it. Granted, she loathed the man, but she’d never met someone she would be responsible for his execution.

  “What about food?” the king asked, interrupting her thoughts. “He ate the food, I assume?”

  Ana nodded. “Yes, quite a bit of it, and drank the mead.”

  “Good.” The king looked pleased

  “Why is it good?” Ana asked evenly. “Why would you feed him and keep his strength up for what he plans to do with me again tonight?”

  The king frowned, but the queen explained, “It’s good for us if we know he will eat from us. It means we can take risks with the food we put in there. Perhaps poison him, or at least immobilize him.”

  They hadn’t mentioned anything like that to her before. “What about me?” Ana asked. “Am I supposed eat poisoned food too?”

  “Eat before you go in there,” the king stated, firmly. “You shouldn’t eat anything from the table.”

  “What if I have to drink water, Father? Sometimes I will need it.”

  A king’s face hardened for a moment and then relaxed. “We won’t do anything to the water. But don’t touch anything else in there.”

  Ana nodded, but remembered when he was eating. “When he first went over to the table, he did something strange.”

  “Like what?” the king asked.

  “He took something out of his pocket and held it over the food. He did it before he ate anything, and then he ate like he was starved.”

  “Did you see what he held?” the queen asked.

  “No. It was something small that fit in the palm of his hand. He put it back into his pocket after—I didn’t see what it was.”

  “Did you check his pockets.”

  Ana stared at her mother. “No.”

  “Did you have a chance to?”

  Ana opened her mouth to say no, but remembered that she left the bed to drink water while he slept; she could have checked his pockets then.

  “Oh Ana,” her mother said, annoyed.

  “Atara,” the king murmured, placing a hand on the queen’s shoulder to calm her. To Ana he said, “Next time see if you can catch a glimpse of what he used. It would really help us.”

  Ana nodded. “I will try, Father, but he is not an easy person to monitor. He does whatever he likes, and he is very… distracting. He doesn’t leave me alone in there….” Her voice petered out. She couldn’t say anything more, not her parents. “It’s difficult for me to talk about it.”

  Her mother’s eyes softened. “You are safe now, Ana.” She leaned forward to squeeze her hand. “I know it would have been difficult—we can talk about what you experienced later after you’ve rested so I can explain things to you or help you to understand.”

  “I’d prefer not to talk about it,” Ana said. There was no benefit to her talking about her shame or being uncontrollably emotional in front of her parents. It was understood that overly emotional displays did not fit with the expectations they had of her, and she wasn’t willing to disappoint just yet. With this situation, she couldn’t ignore or bottle up her feelings completely, but she didn’t want to do it in front of anyone, least of all them.

  “I know, Ana,” the queen said. “But later we will send in a medic to examine you and make sure you are healthy. You are not permitted to refuse him entry.”

  Ana said nothing. She just wanted to be left alone. “Where is Maddoc now?”

  After a moment of silence both of them readied to leave.

  “There are only two more nights, Ana,” the king said, drawing her into another hug. “It won’t last much longer.”

  Two nights felt like it would be an eternity, but there was no point in saying that to Father. It’s not like he was the one who had to suffer it, so she just nodded and smiled. Both of them fussed over her a little more with words of encouragement, and then left.

  It was impossible to sleep. Not only did it feel unnatural to be in bed while the sun streamed in through her window, but the more Ana tried, the more her time with Maddoc revolved in her mind. When Mother and Father questioned her, the memories had already started to blur together—she’d spent all that time after Maddoc left trying to force herself to forget them—yet when she lay down to sleep, her mind crammed them back into her awareness.

  It was extremely likely that nothing Maddoc said during his time with her was true. He was known to be a liar and to manipulate situations to his benefit—exactly what he was doing now. But there was something about what he said that struck her. Something about the library.

  As the hours passed, and the day stretched into midmorning, Ana knew she was not going to sleep.

  Dressing in a simple gown, and fixing herself modestly, she headed to the royal library, surrounded by her guards and the extra king’s guard that were part of her regular protection now.

  One of the reasons she’d been reluctant to leave the library when Milly came to collect her the day before was because it was typically cleared for her to use privately for her studies. The king and queen preferred that she have complete privacy whenever she was in the library, since they knew she loved reading, but it wasn’t always possible to clear the library for her and it only usually happened two or three times a month. This time she didn’t care, she just wanted to sink into the familiarity of her favorite place in the palace.

  When she arrived, her guards insisted on clearing the library for her, and did so swiftly. She headed to her favorite section—historic love stories—to search for some of her favorite reads.

  For the next two hours, Ana read through some of her favorite stories; ones that gave her comfort, stories that reminded her that hope and love and sacrifice existed. After an hour or so, she felt much better, and even snoozed in the chair as exhaustion overwhelmed her. She didn’t find another copy of her favorite book that Maddoc had taken, but she didn’t expect to. From what she could recall, that was the only copy. She cursed inwardly that she had been silly enough to bring it to the room, since now it w
ould always be a reminder of him.

  As she was leaving, her mind wandered back to some of their exchanges. He seemed convinced that the library was filled with information or texts that would justify his behavior, particularly with regarding the Royal Promise. There was undoubtedly no truth to that, but he had dismissed her denial outright, simply because he believed she preferred children stories. Perhaps it would be good to prove him wrong, finally have something to say to him that would erase the stupid smirk on his face. At the thought of his quieter smiles, a reasonable level of anger surged through her, but she tried her hardest to push it away. He certainly knew how to enrage someone; he had enraged the entire high society of Allandis for decades. After all, it wasn’t as though she was the first one. But trying to prove anything to him would simply mean she would be playing his game. And she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of it. However there had to be a text in the library to help her keep her from becoming emotional.

  She searched out all books and files she could find that dealt with negotiation or interrogation. Of course there would be no circumstances that were similar to the one she was in, but there might be some techniques she could draw from. She took her time to read through them, trying to find some commonality with the scenarios presented. Mainly, the texts sited negotiations between farmers or landowners, nobles, and even sometimes with a Royal House. As she read on, the examples themselves became fascinating stories of their own.

  “I am surprised to see you studying.”

  Ana looked up to see her mother approaching the table where she sat.

  “I thought you were going to try to get some sleep?” she said, smiling as she slid into the chair next to Ana.

  “I tried. But I couldn’t.”

  “And you thought studying might help you get there,” her mother chuckled. “I can see your reasoning.”

  Ana smiled with her. “I thought maybe I could find some way to deal with the outlaw so I didn’t get so…”

  Her mother watched carefully as you try to search the word. “Sad?” she suggested. “Tearful? Depressed?”

  “Angry,” Ana completed.

  “Angry?” The queen shot her strange look. “What did he say to make you angry?”

  “Just the things I told you—that I’m stupid and I don’t know anything that’s going on around me…”

  “You know that he is a manipulator,” the queen said. “If he is angering you, it’s because that is his intention.”

  “I know,” Ana said. “I’m trying to find a way to be more emotionless tonight.”

  The queen nodded thoughtfully. “I’m not sure you’ll find anything in this library, Ana. Not many studies have been done about the emotional connection between Alphas and Omegas.”

  That was surprising. “Why not?”

  “Mostly because royal couples tend to be extremely sensitive about their privacy. Usually, we talk to each other so that we know what to expect.” She tilted her head as she held Ana’s gaze. “It is really my duty to discuss with you what to expect with your bonded Alpha. This is a tricky situation, because he’s not that, but you can still ask me whatever you want to know.”

  Ana fidgeted with the corner of a piece of parchment as she thought for a long moment. “You said before that I might have false feelings?”

  The queen inclined her head. “Not false as such, but they may lead you to think that you are more connected to this man than you are. As Omegas our feelings are very overwhelming when we are with an Alpha sexually.”

  “Does that happen for every Omega? Did that happen with you and father?”

  “It happens to some degree between all Alphas and Omegas,” the queen explained. “But sometimes it is more extreme. As you well know, arranged marriages are between fated mates, which your father and I are. Even if we weren’t royalty, we would be compatible.”

  “And it’s the same with me and Ryden?”

  “Absolutely,” her mother said firmly. “Arranged marriages are planned and decided through an extensive amount of consideration and research. Ryden wouldn’t have been chosen if he wasn’t the perfect Alpha male for you.”

  “And there’s no mistake about that?” Ana asked, thinking about the many times she purred for the outlaw.

  “No.” Her mother was resolute. “Mistakes might be made if we’re talking about the whole population of Allandis, or commoners who don’t have access to our scholars who study this kind of thing. But it’s never wrong for royalty.”

  “Then what I will experience with Ryden will be better.”

  The queen smiled and her body seemed to relax. “I can guarantee it will be,” she confirmed. “You know that you at least have that to look forward to. It’s a reason to push through tonight and tomorrow night.”

  A weight lifted off Ana’s chest. Her compulsion to purr must have been because she was having sex for the first time. That was all it probably was. “Why did you say earlier about him being an Alpha and me being an Omega sexually? What did you mean?”

  The queen leaned forward on the table. “The connection between Alpha and Omega can potentially be very strong once both submit to it. You may feel you are at the mercy of your body with him, but in some respects, so is he. You could have used that to your advantage, but….” She offered a soft smile. “It was unfair of me to expect you to know that.”

  “I don’t know how I would do that anyway,” Ana said. “He was completely in control the whole time.”

  “Probably because he is more sexually experienced. But now you have experienced being with him, you can try to exert your own will on him, and yourself.”

  Ana frowned at her mother. “In what way?”

  “Start with something small. Like, this evening commit yourself to withholding two things only, things that you readily did last night that you don’t want to do again. If you succeed, then you know that by tomorrow night you will be ready to try something else, hopefully something that will force him to reveal something to you that he never planned to.”

  “What if he’s angry about it?”

  Mother inclined her head. “That is where it becomes tricky and dangerous, Ana. I don’t want you to provoke him more than necessary, but if you choose two things he didn’t ask you to do, then he either won’t notice or care, or he will tell you to do it, in which case that puts you in the position of power. In any case, it will be good discipline for you.”

  That seemed like something she could try, and better than what she’d been hoping to find in the documents about negotiation. Of course, Maddoc probably couldn’t really be negotiated with, but she needed techniques and methods to try for herself—to stop herself from being so affected by him.

  “And you have to stop thinking of him like some entity that is magical or special,” the queen added. “He is a man. He may be somewhat different to other men in a lot of ways, more base and animalistic, but he is still just a man. Once you force yourself to see that, it will help you to be able to think clearer when you’re in his presence.”

  Ana smiled. That was exactly what she needed to hear. “That will definitely help, Mother. Thank you.”

  “You are very welcome, my beautiful daughter,” the queen said smiling. She leaned forward and drew Ana into another hug. “You are, of course, welcome to stay here as long as you wish, but you should really try to get some sleep so you are not too tired to make your best efforts tonight.”

  Ana nodded. She wasn’t sure there was much she could learn from what she was reading. As fascinating as it was, it wasn’t helping her. Mother’s suggestion was much better.

  After her mother left, she returned all of the books and files and collected everything she could find about Maddoc. She’d read them all before, but that was when she was viewing him as a faceless grandiose menace she’d never seen or met. But Mother was right—he was just a man. Rereading the documents with that in mind might help her do what Mother suggested. She desperately wanted to stop purring for him. It implied certain things
she wasn’t comfortable with and threw everything into question with Ryden. That would be the first thing she would try her hardest to withhold. She needed to figure out what the second thing would be, but for the first time, since he had entered the assembly hall, she was truly hopeful she could survive him.

  6

  Thankfully she slept well when she went back her to bed chambers, even if only for a short time.

  The medic woke her for her examination, which was painful this time. Apart from drinking the disgusting liquids again, he had her spread her legs so he could assess any “damage.” Fortunately, he had some balms that helped soothe her, but then he spent way too long advising her to ensure she was well lubricated tonight. Ana was sure the old man was enjoying seeing her turn every shade of red possible.

  She then spent the next couple of hours reading over the material regarding Maddoc. Halfway through, Milly brought her a meal, and she, of course, couldn’t help fussing over her—if she’d eaten enough, drank enough, if her clothes were right—and generally getting in the way of her reading.

  “Has all of high society heard about what happened in court yesterday?” she said abruptly, interrupting Milly midsentence. Usually Milly refused to discuss what she called “news for idle tongues and minds,” but Ana was curious to know if she would this time.

  Milly fell silent. “It is all anyone is talking about,” she admitted finally, her stiff tone heavy with disapproval. “I’ve stayed away from discussions about it. I see no need to talk about it, and I expressed that opinion clearly and violently to anyone who dares raise it in my presence.”

  Ana nodded, a smile playing on her lips. Protective, second-mother Milly was clearly upset and insulted by the gossip. “You suggested I shouldn’t talk to him at all.”

  Milly dipped her head in a sharp nod. “I did. I know your parents have their well-meaning agenda, but I don’t think it is ever wise for an Omega to provoke an Alpha. If you’ve angered him, he has two more nights to make you suffer for it. And this particular Alpha is very dangerous.”